6 Ways to Stop Worrying!

Cary fha loansThis is one of those "Do as I say, Not as I do," deals...

There's a lot to worry about right now.  As a sales person who covers a fairly large county - gas prices drive ME crazy and then there's the news media helping me out every chance they get - NO WONDER I'M NOT SLEEPING!

But there are some great strategies that can help you manage when things get overwhelming:

  1. 1.  Set aside time to worry.  That's right - schedule time to worry.  Maybe it's that 15 minutes on the way to the bank - or maybe it's during your shower.  Schedule a time to worry - and then when you feel those thoughts creeping in during the day - remind yourself that you're going to focus on that later.

2.  Do a Reality Check.  "Worriers tend to overestimate the likelihood that a fear will become reality," says one expert.  Are you worrying about something that "might" happen?  Do a reality check and see if there are actions you can take that would avoid the problem you're worried about!

3. Take Action.  Okay - as a blogger you know this - but when you wake up in the middle of the night and your stomach is in a knot, write it down.  Get it out.  Did you answer the phone, "yeah, what do you want?" to a potential 4 million dollar client?  Call them back and explain yourself.  Afraid you aren't spending enough time with your children?? Put them on your calender!

4.  Use Visualization.  Are you concerned about not having enough income to go on vacation?  Picture yourself on the beach - with family and fun.  Picture yourself making another sale - and getting another listing.  CHANGE YOUR PICTURE!

5.  Savor NOW.  Worrying is usually about the future... Try to concentrate on the present, the warmth of the sun, the first robin, the smell of dinner, the sounds from your children playing.

6.  Work it out.  Ease muscle tension with deep breathing, stretches, jogging - MOVEMENT.  Park in the farthest spot from the door so that you can walk through the parking lot and collect your thoughts.  Take the stairs.

One of my favorite quotes is from Lee Ioccoca.  He was tasked with turning a bankrupt Chrysler into a company worth owning.  There was so much to do!  Someone asked him, "What should we do now?"  His answer?  "Anything, something, the WRONG thing - just make sure you stay away from NOTHING."  Any action will feel better than the paralyzing inaction.

So stop worrying and put on your track shoes!  There's work to be done!  Houses need to be sold - and buyers need to move in!

Comment balloon 23 commentsEleanor Thorne • March 18 2008 08:57AM


You are so RIGHT Eleanor. ACTION is good.  STILLNESS is Good. Heck, it is ALL GOOD. What did Bobby M. say: Don't Worry - Be Happy!! The best advice out there.
Posted by Bonnie & Terry Westbrook, Grand Rapids MI Real Estate (Westbrook Realty) about 12 years ago

I find that number 3 is the one that works best, for me at least. 

All the other stuff doesn't eliminate the worry, just compounds it as it's still there!

I'm sure different personality types would benefit from different approaches, but a Type A, like me, probably needs to take the bull by the horns!

Posted by Ron Tarvin, Broker, Katy, Houston, Cypress 77450,77494,77095 (Residential, Investment properties, rehab projects, property management, luxury homes, new construction!) about 12 years ago

That is me..I know I worry to much about everything unfortunately.  I was up at 4 am worrying about stuff, especially my pregnancy.  It is one of my not so good attributes...I tend to be overprotective of everything because of my fear.  I like the quote though...something is definitely better than nothing at all. 

Posted by n d (Naoma Doriguzzi) about 12 years ago

Bonnie!  Taking action - figuring out what you CAN do has always made me feel better!

Ron!  "bull by the horns" - and you're from Texas - that's pretty cool!

 Naoma!  You do what I do - hassle about things WAAAY before you need to be worrying!


Posted by Eleanor Thorne, Equity Resources 919-649-5058 (Equity Resources) about 12 years ago
Interesting ideas. Set aside time to worry.  That is a new idea for me.  Thanks.
Posted by Rob Arnold, Metro Orlando Full Service - Investor Friendly & F (Sand Dollar Realty Group, Inc.) about 12 years ago

The doom and gloom is the reason that I don't watch a lot of news. I find that I must protect my mind - which means keeping garbage out (the media)  and putting in lots of positive things like affirmations and reading positive books.

Posted by Darleen McCullen, Broker - Raleigh, NC Real Estate about 12 years ago

Good stuff Eleanor. We all struggle with worry from time to time. Here are a couple that I do with my wife (she tends to worry more than I do).

This goes along with number 2, but I get her in touch with all the terrible things she has worried about in the past...and how not a single one has ever come true. Worry just ISN'T a good predictor of bad circumstances in our life. (What I don't say is that most bad circumstances come unexpectedly...but I don't want to worry her!)

Also, worry tends to be asking "What if?" I find a good cure is to answer the question. "What if we can't pay the bills? What if it's cancer?" Answer the question. What's the worst that could happen. Then access you think that if that does happen we can handle it? Can God get us through? If so, then don't waste time worrying about it now.

Posted by Jolynne Photography, Creative Wedding Photography, Family Portraits, Bar Mitzvahs, Bat Mitzvahs, Senior Pictures, Event Photography (Jolynne Photography) about 12 years ago

Joey  and Darleen:  You guys are spot on!  Faith is a great thing to take to bed at night...

Posted by Eleanor Thorne, Equity Resources 919-649-5058 (Equity Resources) about 12 years ago
I love item 1..... allow worry and get over it..... awesome advice
Posted by Joe Adams (Major Mortgage USA/Branch Manager) about 12 years ago
Thanks Eleanor!  -  I needed that.  I think worrying is embedded in my genetic code.  I have to say, I've made significant improvement on not worrying so much, but every once in a while it creeps right back in.
Posted by Jessica Bigger, Freelance Real Estate Business Writer (Bigger Communications) about 12 years ago
Good thought provoking post. I read some where that you can not think of two things at the same time. So you should try to think of a postive thing when a negative thought comes to mind. It works.
Posted by Gita Bantwal, REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel (RE/MAX Centre Realtors) about 12 years ago

Eleanor - Great advice! - and a well written article.  I love #3 - enough well-directed action minimizes the need (or the time) to worry.

Best Wishes,


Posted by Kelsie Compton, Cary NC Real Estate (Triangle Choice Realty, Inc.) about 12 years ago

Rob, Jessica, Joe and Kelsie:  Thanks for your thoughts - I think this is good infor for our clients - because I think there are some sellers (and buyers worried they won't qualified) out there!

Gita!  This is what I love about the Rain - Great attitude! Although... if you're a worrier it's difficult to do, right?  Falls back to that "do as I say not as I do..."

Posted by Eleanor Thorne, Equity Resources 919-649-5058 (Equity Resources) about 12 years ago





Listen to Jimmy Buffett

Thanks for the comments and I'm glad you like the new name of my blog.



Posted by Jim Fischetti (The Fischetti Group/Keller Williams) about 12 years ago
Hi Eleanor,
I have read that most of the things we worry about never happen.  That's probably true.  I agree with you seize the moment and enjoy it for what it is.  
Posted by Cynthia Tilghman, RealtorĀ® Onslow County NC Home Specialist (Kingsbridge Realty, Inc) about 12 years ago

Stress can damage your health and clutter your spirit. I can't think about something that I have no control over. I am visualizing more everyday now getting listings and selling them as well as help ready,willing and able buyers buy homes. I told you I was going to check you out woman. Great post.

Posted by Lanre-"THE REAL ESTATE FARMER" Folayan, I don't make promises.I deliver results.SOLD HOMES (Keller Williams Select Realtors-Buy a home in Washington DC. Sell a home in Washington DC) about 12 years ago

Jim!  Definately need to add Buffett... "changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes..."

Cynthia:  Yeah - I'm guilty of "hasseling about things before I need to..."

Lanre:  Cluttered Spirits do not move as quickly as I need to move!  Glad you stopped by! 8-)

Posted by Eleanor Thorne, Equity Resources 919-649-5058 (Equity Resources) about 12 years ago
You are what you think so I do not allow worry to come into play. If I do then what I worry about will come true. Since I have started doing this I sleep better, have better days altogether and life is good. try it. You may be surprised too.
Posted by Martha Brown, Your Homes Around Annapolis Agent (Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc., Annapolis MD 21403) about 12 years ago
I wish I could stop worrying. It is non stop I need clients that is all I think about and worry about. I will try some of your ideas great post
Posted by Shannon Whitley, RE/MAX OAK CREST REALTY (RE/MAX OAK CREST REALTY) about 12 years ago

I recently read the Joy Diet by Martha Beck, she was on Oprah and writes for her magazine O, and I learned that we need to put ourselves on a daily joy diet. The book recommends sitting for 15 minutes every day and do not think ---- sounds easy ---well try it. Martha's recommendation is to let the many thought that you have go through your mind like a parade --- notice them but don't focus on them. Like, today I did not exercise, or my husband did not call when he said he would, let these thoughts just go floating by as if you were watching a stream.

Love the one on visualization.

Posted by Lorraine or Loretta Kratz, Certified Negotiation Consultants (Crescent Moon Realty, Inc. & Land N Sea Auctions.) about 12 years ago
Thanks.  This was a wonderful reminder.  I can get my stomach all knotted up and I need to remember that everything, both the bad and the good shall pass, so enjoy the moment.
Posted by Susan Mangigian, Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches (RE/MAX Preferred, West Chester, PA, RS152252A) about 12 years ago
Eleanor - and I'd like to add . . . stop watching the news.
Posted by Jackie -, Learn to leverage technology to get more done. (770.498.7333) about 12 years ago
Nice thoughts.  It made me a bit more calm just reading them.
Posted by Carolyn Gjerde-Tu-Davis, Ca Real Estate (Lyon Real Estate) about 12 years ago