This is one of those "Do as I say, Not as I do," deals...
There's a lot to worry about right now. As a sales person who covers a fairly large county - gas prices drive ME crazy and then there's the news media helping me out every chance they get - NO WONDER I'M NOT SLEEPING!
But there are some great strategies that can help you manage when things get overwhelming:
- 1. Set aside time to worry. That's right - schedule time to worry. Maybe it's that 15 minutes on the way to the bank - or maybe it's during your shower. Schedule a time to worry - and then when you feel those thoughts creeping in during the day - remind yourself that you're going to focus on that later.
2. Do a Reality Check. "Worriers tend to overestimate the likelihood that a fear will become reality," says one expert. Are you worrying about something that "might" happen? Do a reality check and see if there are actions you can take that would avoid the problem you're worried about!
3. Take Action. Okay - as a blogger you know this - but when you wake up in the middle of the night and your stomach is in a knot, write it down. Get it out. Did you answer the phone, "yeah, what do you want?" to a potential 4 million dollar client? Call them back and explain yourself. Afraid you aren't spending enough time with your children?? Put them on your calender!
4. Use Visualization. Are you concerned about not having enough income to go on vacation? Picture yourself on the beach - with family and fun. Picture yourself making another sale - and getting another listing. CHANGE YOUR PICTURE!
5. Savor NOW. Worrying is usually about the future... Try to concentrate on the present, the warmth of the sun, the first robin, the smell of dinner, the sounds from your children playing.
6. Work it out. Ease muscle tension with deep breathing, stretches, jogging - MOVEMENT. Park in the farthest spot from the door so that you can walk through the parking lot and collect your thoughts. Take the stairs.
One of my favorite quotes is from Lee Ioccoca. He was tasked with turning a bankrupt Chrysler into a company worth owning. There was so much to do! Someone asked him, "What should we do now?" His answer? "Anything, something, the WRONG thing - just make sure you stay away from NOTHING." Any action will feel better than the paralyzing inaction.
So stop worrying and put on your track shoes! There's work to be done! Houses need to be sold - and buyers need to move in!
I find that number 3 is the one that works best, for me at least.
All the other stuff doesn't eliminate the worry, just compounds it as it's still there!
I'm sure different personality types would benefit from different approaches, but a Type A, like me, probably needs to take the bull by the horns!
That is me..I know I worry to much about everything unfortunately. I was up at 4 am worrying about stuff, especially my pregnancy. It is one of my not so good attributes...I tend to be overprotective of everything because of my fear. I like the quote though...something is definitely better than nothing at all.
Bonnie! Taking action - figuring out what you CAN do has always made me feel better!
Ron! "bull by the horns" - and you're from Texas - that's pretty cool!
Naoma! You do what I do - hassle about things WAAAY before you need to be worrying!
The doom and gloom is the reason that I don't watch a lot of news. I find that I must protect my mind - which means keeping garbage out (the media) and putting in lots of positive things like affirmations and reading positive books.
Good stuff Eleanor. We all struggle with worry from time to time. Here are a couple that I do with my wife (she tends to worry more than I do).
This goes along with number 2, but I get her in touch with all the terrible things she has worried about in the past...and how not a single one has ever come true. Worry just ISN'T a good predictor of bad circumstances in our life. (What I don't say is that most bad circumstances come unexpectedly...but I don't want to worry her!)
Also, worry tends to be asking "What if?" I find a good cure is to answer the question. "What if we can't pay the bills? What if it's cancer?" Answer the question. What's the worst that could happen. Then access faith...do you think that if that does happen we can handle it? Can God get us through? If so, then don't waste time worrying about it now.
Joey and Darleen: You guys are spot on! Faith is a great thing to take to bed at night...
Eleanor - Great advice! - and a well written article. I love #3 - enough well-directed action minimizes the need (or the time) to worry.
Best Wishes,
Kelsie
Rob, Jessica, Joe and Kelsie: Thanks for your thoughts - I think this is good infor for our clients - because I think there are some sellers (and buyers worried they won't qualified) out there!
Gita! This is what I love about the Rain - Great attitude! Although... if you're a worrier it's difficult to do, right? Falls back to that "do as I say not as I do..."
Eleanor,
#7:
Listen to Jimmy Buffett
Thanks for the comments and I'm glad you like the new name of my blog.
Jim
I have read that most of the things we worry about never happen. That's probably true. I agree with you seize the moment and enjoy it for what it is.
Stress can damage your health and clutter your spirit. I can't think about something that I have no control over. I am visualizing more everyday now getting listings and selling them as well as help ready,willing and able buyers buy homes. I told you I was going to check you out woman. Great post.
Jim! Definately need to add Buffett... "changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes..."
Cynthia: Yeah - I'm guilty of "hasseling about things before I need to..."
Lanre: Cluttered Spirits do not move as quickly as I need to move! Glad you stopped by! 8-)
I recently read the Joy Diet by Martha Beck, she was on Oprah and writes for her magazine O, and I learned that we need to put ourselves on a daily joy diet. The book recommends sitting for 15 minutes every day and do not think ---- sounds easy ---well try it. Martha's recommendation is to let the many thought that you have go through your mind like a parade --- notice them but don't focus on them. Like, today I did not exercise, or my husband did not call when he said he would, let these thoughts just go floating by as if you were watching a stream.
Love the one on visualization.